I'm not sure what crazy deals Nancy Pelosi had to make to Blue Dog Democrats to get their vote. Maybe I don't want to know.Democrats narrowly passed their healthcare reform bill Saturday in a close 220-215 vote. After the bill's passage, Nancy Pelosi struck the gavel to Democrats' cheers and applause. Now the fate of healthcare reform lies in the significantly less capable hands of Harry Reid and re-election conscious Democrats in the Senate.

Between Reid and Pelosi, it's clear which is the stronger party leader. I still can't forget the look on Pelosi's face when Joe Wilson shouted, "You lie!" at the President in her chambers. Frankly, she looked ready to wrap the offender in her coils and swallow him whole. Despite the outburst, Pelosi has been able to get business done with Republicans at their craziest.

Reid, on the other hand, may not even be re-elected. His approval rating dropped to 32% among Nevadans in October 2007. Much of that can be blamed on sketchy land purchasing deals he made in 2006. God knows how low it is now. The man has allowed Republicans to create a 60-vote passage minimum without them actually having to filibuster. Ridiculous! Maybe if he'd called their bluff during debate over lesser bills, then we wouldn't be in this mess. But now he has no leverage and no real power.

So what's next? Well, here's what I'd do if I could ghost-hack the Democratic party leadership:

1) President Obama would force the Senate to convene, over the holidays, until they pass/fail the healthcare bill. Under Article II, Section 3 of the Consitution, the president has the power to force the Senate to convene. President Harry Truman was the last to utilize this power in 1948 an did so in order to enact his domestic legislative agenda. Obama would be guaranteed flack over the call, but ultimately it can't be challenged. The following is an excerpt from the speech Obama would give, having hacked into his brain.

"Alright folks. I've tried to be the nice guy. I kept my hands off healthcare legislation and instead trusted in Congress to take care of business. That was obviously a colossal mistake and I'm here, right now, to rectify it. To the Senate: None of you are going home until after you've voted on healthcare. Period. I don't care if it's your turn to host Thanksgiving dinner. I don't care if it's Christmas fucking Eve. I don't care if you're performing at Times Square for MTV's New Years Eve Whatever with Taylor Swift -- God bless her. You're going to stay in chambers until the work is done. End of story. I ain't fuckin' around no mo'. Ya dig?"

Everybody thinks Nancy Pelosi has bigger balls than you. You're running out of chances to prove us wrong.However, President Obama can only force the Senate to meet. He can't force them to act. That's where part dos comes in.

2) Harry Reid will grow a pair and get tough with both Democrats and Republicans. Not only would he place the bill on the docket, he'd make deals, phone calls, and twist arms until he has the Democratic caucus in line like he should have done from the start. Then he'd put it on Republicans to filibuster. Here's an excerpt from his press conference.

"Now that President Obama has forced us to convene, the Democrats' healthcare bill is hitting the Senate floor next week. In the meantime, I'm sending Nancy Pelosi to wheel, deal, and generally fuck with the shit of every member of the Democratic caucus who isn't on board. If you think your life sucks now, wait until Nancy audits your earnings reports, calls your wife about that affair you had with that stripper in Miami, and devours your cat, or any other pet smaller than a bowling ball, whole. Oh, and Republicans, don't think you're safe from the siege. I'm calling you out right now. Filibuster. I dare you. Meanwhile, I'm running ads in each one of your districts letting your constituents know that while the Dems are trying to take care business and enact change, you fuckers are reading from 30-year-old cook books. And I almost forgot. Fuck you, Lieberman!"

Since ghost-hacking is still science fiction, all any of us can do is hope Harry Reid can work enough deals with Democrats to get them all behind healthcare legislation. If that doesn't work, then I really think it's time to make the Republicans have to filibuster. However, if Obama actually forces the Senate to convene until a vote, the filibuster could be effectively neutralized. Hmmm. Maybe my plan could actually work, well, perhaps without all the profanity.