The child who brought the news media to its knees.If you haven't been following the Balloon Boy saga that has been broadcast on cable news networks for almost the entire afternoon, bear witness to a tale. A tale of power. The power to distract 24-hour news networks, along with the American public, for 6 hours straight and counting. Here's the timeline:

11:30 MST: Six-year-old Falcon Heene launches his father's 20-foot-long helium balloon. The child is believed to be still inside of the balloon.

12:00-1:34: [useless conjecture by news media] i.e. Fox News correspondent: "I would look under the bed. If I were a child and launched my father's weather balloon, I'd have to go out back and break a switch off a tree."

1:35: The balloon lands 60 miles from its starting point. Law inforcement and paramedics are on site.

1:36: Authorities approach the balloon, shouting at it, to see if anyone is inside.

1:37: Authorities confirm no one is inside.

1:38-5:39: [useless conjecture involving various balloon experts (slightly better than conjecture by correspondents)]  

*Where the hell do you find a balloon expert?

5:40-ish: The boy is found, alive, hiding in a box in the attic. Fox ended up being surprisingly accurate.

5:41 - 8:00: News media try to figure out how the story blew up in the first place. Campbell Brown appeared particularly pissed at the whole debacle and appeared ready to devour the entire Heene family for being so weird (this isn't the first time they've been on television or YouTube for that matter).

In conclusion, the whole fiasco ended up being exactly what most thought from the beginning -- a massive waste of time. Hopefully, nothing else important happened today.

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Oh well, at least tonight's Daily Show will be really good.

Update on Thursday, October 15, 2009 at 11:54PM by Chris Jr.

So, tonight's Daily Show was good, but he barely mentioned Balloon Boy. He celebrated him being okay at the beginning of the show and that was it.

However, the entire Heene family did make it on Larry King Live. Wolf Blitzer, filling in for Larry, asked Falcon why he didn't respond when his father called for him. His response: "We did this for the show." His father sighed heavily following the response.

The Keene's have been on ABC's Wife Swap twice. Richard Heene, a meteorologist, has been on various weather documentaries for Discovery Channel. He became upset when Wolf Blitzer pressed him on his son's response.

"Appalled?" Really? Your family cost Colorado thousands of taxpayer dollars for this wild goose chase. I think people deserve to know if the family set this all up just for publicity. Oh well, Wolf handled the retort well. Hopefully this will be the last time this family makes it on television. 

 

Update on Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 11:51PM by Chris Jr.

Authorities: "Balloon boy' incident was a hoax

The whole thing makes me sick. I really feel sorry for the children. I'm not sure what kind of psychological damage Falcon in particular has suffered. The poor boy became physically ill on the Today Show:

Falcon vomited during an ABC interview that morning as well. He became sick right after he was asked why he was hiding "for a show."

Supposedly, Richard and Mayumi Heene met in acting school, so the whole bit makes sense. I'm just appalled. Hopefully, the couple will be indicted, the kids get counseling, and this whole mess gets removed from television.